


Blue-tinged nightmare

by moonraver



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: First Time, For me ! I haven't posted on here before hi, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-15
Updated: 2018-05-15
Packaged: 2019-05-07 06:27:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14665224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonraver/pseuds/moonraver
Summary: Jack not having a body makes things difficult. Also Jack is difficult, Pandora is difficult, and Rhys is having a rough week.(Set during season 3 intro, a.k.a weirdest road trip ever)





	Blue-tinged nightmare

Rhys excused himself from the caravan, and walked around the makeshift campsite they had made. Things had got pretty crowded once Athena had joined them, and sleeping in the rattling death trap hadn't been so easy before. Rhys suggested the stop himself - complaining about motion sickness - but the real reason was the man in his head getting more and more annoying; more vocal, needing more attention. Rhys was getting really, really tired, and running out of poor excuses for arguing with himself out loud.  
  
"Come on, cupcake. You really do _not_ wanna be on your own when this place gets dark."  
  
Jack had lead him to a rocky, pandoran equivalent of an alleyway; two sheer rockfaces almost parallel to each other. The furthest ends were touching; there was only one way in, one way out. Great.  
  
"Nice place here. Cozy. What exactly did you want to talk about?" Rhys tried to ignore his fight or flight response apparently trying to make his heart leap out of his chest. You can't run from someone who's in your head, and Rhys didn't want to fight Jack either. Jack's company in the last few days had been beyond strange, but he'd almost started to get used to the blue-tinged living nightmare making snide remarks as he went about his day. Almost.  
  
"We need to discuss something about our... arrangement," Jack's eyes narrowed. "As much as I love following your pretty ass around all day, I'm getting really. Really bored not having a body. Like really. Painfully, painfully freakin bored."  
  
"Well, I'm sorry if travelling around Pandora isn't how you'd like to be spending your retirement," Rhys noticed the look on Jack's face, tried to push on,  "but this wasnt exactly part of my life's plan either -"  
  
"Retirement? Okay. I can't let that one go kiddo."  
  
Jack tried to push Rhys back, but his hand went right through the younger man's chest. Despite this, his abrupt movement startled Rhys enough to step back anyway, his back now pressed against the uneven rockface.  
  
"Rhysie, we have got to work on that attitude of yours."  
  
Jack reached out to lightly pat the other man's face, or would've done if he had hands. This whole thing was a mess. But Rhys was hot, and more importantly the only person that knew Jack existed. Last guy in the world kinda territory. Jack could roll with it.  
  
"I want to, well, I want _you_ to make things a little more... interesting."  
  
Jack ghosted his hand down Rhys' tie, then made a movement as though he was trying to untuck it from Rhys' belt. He sighed when his hand went straight through the other man's midriff, tie remaining almost offensively in place.  
  
Rhys looked up at Jack's face, alarmed. The man (/ hologram / AI ?) had always been unpredictable; Jack could never be any thing else, but Rhys had been spending an awful, awful lot of time with his idol-turned-living-nightmare lately, and liked to think he had a pretty good read on him. Until now.  
  
Jack's face was barely a few inches from his own. The older man had a look of deep concentration, or anger.  
  
"This is- do you have any idea how goddamn hard it is for me to see you all... all like this," Jack stepped back to gesture at Rhys' entire body, " and I can't fucking do anything about it.  Can't even fix your stupid tie."  
  
"if you feel that strongly about it, I could change it I guess? I'm open to uh... that."  
  
"Its not the fucking tie, cupcake," Jack narrowed his eyes as he found the right wording, trying to read Rhys' blank expression, "if I had a body, I would fucking _ruin_ you."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Sexually. "  
  
" _Huh _?"__  
  
"Sexually. I would r u i n you. I'm talking about sex but there's not even any point because I can't- fucking - touch - anything!" Jack tried to punch the side of the rockface. It didn't work.  
  
Rhys was sure he'd stopped breathing a while ago, and he'd died, and gone to whatever happens next to live out some weird nightmare that was definitely close to past sexual fantasies he'd had before. Except in all of his fantasies, Jack was Jack, and not pixels. Thoughts of failed dates ending with him alone at night, staring up at his Hyperion issued posters, gave him an idea.  
  
"My arm. You could... use my arm." he said quite quietly, hoping that none of the others would hear him. He wasn't sure he could explain away the semi he was currently trying to hide, especially if this was going the way he hoped it was.  
  
"Really?" Jack chuckled. "Whatever you say kitten. Let's see what we're working with here." Jack flexed his arm, and Rhys' cybernetic one mirrored his movement. When Jack reached to wrap his hand around Rhys' neck, Rhys' cybernetic hand followed. Jack leaned closer to Rhys until they were only inches apart, gazing hungrily at the younger man's neck like a starved vampire.  
  
"Uh... Should I be worried? Or-"  
  
Jack moved Rhys' hand away from his neck to undo his shirt buttons, all the way down so that his stomach was exposed. Rhys suddenly wished he'd gone for the whole exercise-bike-ridiculously-toned thing that Vaughn had going for him, but Jack didn't seem to mind, humming approvingly as he trailed the cybernetic hand lower and lower down Rhys' torso.  
  
The cold chill of metal against his skin made him shiver as Jack undid his pants. He stayed frozen, watching the older man in front of him, his breathing ragged. Jack stared right back at him, hungry. Rhys was beginning to wonder how much of Jack's incessant teasing was just unreleased sexual tension from the older man.  
  
Rhys moaned as Jack said his name quietly, his perception messing with him so much at this point that Jack's voice sounded oddly distant, strange. Was his brain even getting enough oxygen right now? He realised he had been holding his breath, let out a long sigh to try to relax.  
  
"Rhys, what are you - oh my god."  
  
Vaughn stood at the end of the cliff-face entrance, his hand covering his eyes. Rhys could only imagine how disheveled he looked, hair out of place, shirt open. Jack had flickered from in front of him to stand by his side, laughing at Vaughn's horrified expression.  
  
"For fu- dude come on. We're on _Pandora _. Fiona thought you mightve died. Really not the right time or place to -"__  
  
"To sneak up on people?" Rhys tried to gain some form of high ground from this situation, quickly fixing his appearance. "I was just uh - This was just. I was. uh..."  
  
Yep. He had nothing.  
  
Thankfully, Vaughn broke through his incoherent rambling by laughing "Well hey. I was your roommate in college. I shouldn't be surprised. Really bro. Let's just get back before the girls get worried, and I can suppress this memory along with pretty much everything else that has happened on this hell planet. Sound good?"  
  
"Sounds, uh." Rhys stared at Jack, who had finally stopped laughing to wipe away a tear, before winking and disappearing to whatever part of the human brain AIs of dead CEOs go when they're not actively trying to ruin your life.  
  
Rhys and Vaughn walked back to the campsite in heated conversation about some college party that Rhys couldn't remember. Rhys still felt sheepish, his face still lightly flushed from embarrassment, but he was thankful that his friend had actually been equally embarrassed, and more thankful that Vaughn had seemed more than happy to completely move on from Rhys literally being caught with his pants down.  
  
Fiona had been pacing around the campsite keeping watch, while both Sasha and Athena slept by the fire. She waved as the two men made it back.  
  
"Finally! I am _not _covering another watch shift tonight. Rhys, you're up. If anything goes wrong, wake up Athena."__  
  
Rhys eyes widened. The thought of waking up Athena was pretty terrifying, especially if she valued sleep half as much as Fiona does.  
  
Fiona had already gone to lie down near Sasha, who was lying curled up in a ball by the fire. Rhys would've thought she looked cute had she not been cradling an SMG like a kid with a soft toy. Pandora, man.  
  
"Oh and Rhys?" Fiona shout-whispered, "your flies are down."

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't posted on here before so please let me know what you think! 
> 
> [Alternative title: moonraver tries to write porn, chickens out last minute. I'm sorry]


End file.
